Why Now? Why Me?

I often think about how my life is,

And just how it used to be.

I think about the good time I've had,

And the things that made me happy.

I wonder why everything seemed to slip,

Right though my own hand.

What was it that happened to me,

Why now nothing is all I understand.

Why can't I find the things,

That used to bring me such pleasure.

Why now is everything so different,

With just a pain scale for a measure.

What was it that went wrong,

What brought me to this place.

What made me hate my life,

Seeing only suffering and disgrace.

What time did I say,

"I can't be happy anymore."

When did I lose all the peace,

That I held onto so tightly before.

Why me, what did I do wrong,

To feel the way I do right now.

Losing all hope and faith,

I can't even remember how.

Will it ever come back to me,

Or will I simply die this way,

Why do I have to feel so sad all the time,

Will all these fears and pains always stay?